Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
