he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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