windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
