I wanna bring you to show and tell
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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