you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
