So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
