I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
