I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
