I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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