I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
