There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
