With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
