We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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