i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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