we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
