The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
