My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
