Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
