Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
