I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
