I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
