Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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