She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
