Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
