You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
