Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
