Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My pussy is not your playground.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
