and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
