Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize