idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
