This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
