just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
