i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
