I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
