I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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