So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
