WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
