Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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