no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
