She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
