I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
