well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
