Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
