I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
