oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
