How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
