he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
