Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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