im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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