went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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