just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my liver is dry heaving
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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