I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize