If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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