u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
