I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize