Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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