wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I need a beard to bite.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
